Life before death

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First thing on a Monday morning - surely the best time to contemplate life and death? In the Guardian last week there was an article about an Australian nurse who cared for people in their last 12 weeks of life and what she learnt about their regrets. Whilst I can’t vouch for the scientific validity of the study it is certainly true that we will all die, and that many of us will have a chance to reflect on our lives as we approach death. Did we do the things we would have liked to? Did we treat others well? Did we achieve what we wanted to? Or to quote John Betjeman – did we have enough sex?

The list I think is quite interesting and perhaps not surprisingly focuses on what people regretting not doing rather than regretting what they had done.

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Really the whole list is about what we at nef call people’s well-being. They are about being authentically ourselves in the world. Taking notice of our feelings, connecting with friends and family, being generous to others and ourselves … all good five ways to well-being examples. But the one I struggle with is ‘working too hard’. 

Not that I am advocating over-work, nor am I against the ideas of shortening the paid working week towards 21 hours. Not at all – I think 3 day weekends could be a strong rallying call against the oppressive economic system that we live under. No it is just that my work (with nef) is one of the most meaningful and important aspects in my life. It is right up there with my kids and partner. It is far more important that the fact that Tottenham are having their best season since I was a teenager (but that is good – very good!)

In many ways the work we do is one of our biggest opportunities to have a positive impact on the world. I like everyone else at nef (and probably by association most readers of this blog) think that the world is not in a good state. Our present problems of financial crises, widening inequalities, persistent poverty and biodiversity loss are further deepened by the looming threat of future climate change – none minor problems to say the least.

But working towards the Great Transition, that we as a society need to embark on, seems like one of the most meaningful things I can do with my life. It is something that I am prepared to work hard on, but while still making time for being a parent on the touchline (even in the freezing cold) and hoping my friends don’t feel too neglected. When the grim reaper comes to call (as he inevitably will one day) I don’t reckon I’ll regret too much.

Have a Happy Monday everyone, and remember to live before you die …